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By Serge Kreutz (2005)
The published public opinion, especially the female published opinion, is wrong in its assessment on why men are concerned about the size of their penises. The public published opinion, and views held publicly by female commentators on the matter, assume that men are concerned about the size of their penises on the basis of a rather childish attitude just like when eight-year-old boys try a far arc while urinating, and then boast about it.
The common published opinion tends to belittle the concern of men about penis size. An example is the following remark of sex adviser Ruth Westheimer, quoted from the TIME cover story of May 4, 1998: "Even if a man has an erection from floor to ceiling and can keep it that way for an hour, it will not be pleasurable for a woman if he is not sexually literate."
This is making ridicule out of a serious concern.
Of course, until recently, all sex therapists could offer men with insufficient erections, or a small penis, was some consolation of the above kind.
Published opinion may be quite different from the opinion held privately by people who are represented by a specific general published opinion. The publishing trade has its own rules on what opinions may be offered in public. The motto of a major US publication used to be (or still is): All the news that's fit to print. (Not: All the news that's true.)
And in the opinion of newspaper editors, it's not fit to say that penis size is of importance when assessing the qualities of a man.
Sorry, but size does matter. And men would probably not be concerned about size, if they wouldn't have learned from intimate experience that it's important. They learn it from their female sexual partners when discussing sexual matters. When they engage in sexual talk with their female partners, many men will be confronted with women's fantasies in which rather large-sized male organs play a role. It's not common that women's fantasies center on disfigured, under-sized, or flaccid male organs.
It may be true that most women who do experience orgasms experience them clitoral. More than 90 percent of all women are easier to bring to an orgasm through clitoral stimulation than through vaginal penetration. However, there are women who prefer to be brought to an orgasm through vaginal penetration, and in such cases, sufficient size, sufficient rigidity, and sufficient staying power are absolutely necessary. Sexual technique is a distant fourth. Usually, woman who can experience vaginal orgasms will anyway apply their own technique.
Furthermore, when it comes to vaginal orgasms, no one single technique fits all women. Some prefer quick short thrusts from below, others rather have it from behind. Often, women who can experience vaginal orgasms like to do the moving, and prefer a static man.
While clitoral orgasms result in rhythmic contractions of the pelvic area, including the vagina, there often is a magic additional component in vaginal orgasms: a ballooning of the Grafenberg area (the front vaginal wall near the vaginal opening), and a move forward of the cervix. Both these reactions can exert an expelling pressure on the inserted penis. A marvelous experience, available probably only to men with a sufficiently large penis.
But even among women who can be brought to an orgasm through clitoral stimulation, the idea of big, hard penises plays a major role in their fantasies. The stimulation may be clitoral, but the fantasies that are absolutely necessary to make clitoral stimulation an orgasmic success may still center on penetration? and usually on penetration by a large male organ.
While the editors of periodicals anywhere around the world may only be willing to touch the topic of penis size in a manner that ridicules the concern, penis size clearly is a major aspect when it comes to the qualities of a man as a lover.
We seldom receive email from women who are of the opinion that penis size is not important. But we regularly receive feedback that confirms that a large penis is an important attribute. Here some comments by one female reader, Ka.:
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I stumbled on your website a few hours ago. I very much enjoyed your essays. It's almost 5 am here (Toronto, Canada), and I just stopped reading.
I just keyed in "love" into my search engine...I don't even know why (I guess I just wanted to focus on something sweet before bed). Your inclusion of our neurology was great. And your sincerity was refreshing. I'll read a few more of your articles tomorrow night.
Now, I got a few questions:
1. You praise tongkat ali very much. I heard that it raises your testosterone levels through the roof (which I guess would explain irritability, and sexual desire). But do you know how it effects woman? (Not that I need help in the arousal department). Just curious.
2. In your essay: "Female Orgasm in Asia", you spoke about the female orgasm...and so on. I need to say this (actually to all the men in the world): Please don't act like you are on a mission in bed. There were plenty of men who were determined to give me an orgasm...and I just ended up faking it. Once it seems that the guy is on a mission...the magic is gone. For me, I can be immensely satisfied without an orgasm (if one happens: great!... but if it doesn't...then leave it alone).
3. You also talked about penis size. Well: IT MATTERS! (At least to me). There was a time that if I liked a guy, and thought that there may be potential for a more serious relationship, I would take things slow, not sleep with him right away... bla bla... But now: I try to get him into bed quickly. I don't want to start liking him... and so on... and then find out he is tiny down there. For me it doesn't have to be huge, but it has to be at least average. And for me, it's not a psychological thing. I want to feel filled! And if he is not at least average, then I don't want to waste my time with him. I don't want to marry a man that is small. He can give the best oral in the world... but if he can't stuff me properly... then I'm gone. I don't want to get emotionally attached, no matter how great they are, and then find out I'm gonna be cheating on them for sure if we continue.
Please don't get me wrong: it doesn't have to be mega huge... but at least average. I dated a few "small" men. Sometimes I wondered what the point of us having sex was. Cuz for me nothing beats the main course.
4. I don't understand how increasing dopamine levels can help a man get erect. Doesn't cocaine increase the amount of dopamine in your synapses But... enough cocaine... and a man just can't get it up. I don't get it. (I dated a cocaine user...and there were soooooooooooooooooo many disappointments.)
Don't feel like you have to rush with the answers.
P.S. Looking forward to reading more articles of yours!
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We left Ka.'s mail unedited. As questions have been asked, we include the answers of our reply mail.
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thank you for your interesting contributions.
Tongkat ali indeed raises testosterone. This has been shown in many scientific studies.
Dopamine enhancement works for libido, not for erections. Cocaine users get sexually agitated (in the head) but can't perform. Not only will they have weak erections; they will also typically have rather small penises, even when they do get an erection. The reason is too much sympathetic tone.
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Back to penis size. Luckily, penis size, like erectile capacity and staying power, can be worked upon and improved.
For erectile capacity and staying power upon demand, sildenafil citrate (Viagra) is the drug of first choice. Sildenafil citrate is not just for 50-year-old diabetics or 60-year-old prostatectomy survivors. Even 25-year-olds can benefit from low doses of the drug. (And the drug is a necessity for cocaine users.)
For the improvement of basic penis size, there are two options: either pull and pull with methods described as penile exercise programs, or have the Leydig cells of your testicles synthesize more testosterone. Penis and testicle size is heavily dependent on testosterone synthesis. That Leydig cells start to synthesize testosterone is what causes the penis and testicles of boys to grow to man size. Furthermore, bodybuilders or athletes who use exogenous testosterone or steroids pay for it by testicular and penile shrinkage. Because they supply more testosterone than the body (more specifically: the hypothalamus) wants, the testes shut down the Leydig cells, and the testicles and penis revert to boyhood size.
The only herbal that stimulates the Leydig cells to synthesize more testosterone is tongkat ali (Eurycoma longifolia by scientific name), which is why heavy tongkat ali usage causes penile and testicular growth, independent of erections.
Of course, more than any other organ, the penis is variable in size. The size of a penis at any given time will depend on body chemistry. Vasoconstrictive nutrients such as caffeine and theobromine, as well as drugs that enhance the sympathetic autonomous nervous system (cocaine, amphetamines) will cause temporary testicular and penile shrinkage.
Beta blockers, which increase the levels of circulating adrenaline by blocking the hormone's binding to cardiovascular sites, thus increasing adrenaline's effect on abdominal receptors, will temporarily reduce penis size and interfere with erectile capabilities. No permanent damage.
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Many geographical names also cause exotic and romantic associations in the minds of many people. Madagascar, Himalaya, Marrakech, Dushanbe...
Copyright Serge Kreutz